I'LL HAVE A DECAF,NON FAT, EXTRA HOT..OH GOD PLEASE FUCK OFF AND DIE, LATTE.I clutch in my hands one mighty cup of coffee. It has the exact acidity, body, sweetness, bitterness and aroma profiles as nature intended. The beans, they have been roasted for a minimum of 18 minutes (because anything less than 14 minutes is not officially ‘slow roasting’ you know…) and my milk has been expertly steamed to the perfect drinking temperature of 140 degrees with just the right consistency of milk to smooth silky foam. I get to enjoy all of this whilst relaxing on a squish brown leather couch while the eclectic sounds of modern and new world jazz fills my ears and revel in the scenic view…a HSBC Bank, a Mc Donald’s, a Pizza Hut oh and a Costa coffee. Beautiful isn’t it?
Ah for the love of corporate coffee chains; one of Britain’s biggest boom industries. These coffee chains are popping up in Britain quicker that you can say cappuccino. This morning on my way to work, and please bear in mind this is a less than 10 minute walk, I have passed two Starbucks, A Rhoad Island Coffee, a Café Nero, two Costa Coffee shops, not to mention the one inside my bank and I hear they are opening another Starbucks across the road, my question is, is there really any need? The words “over-saturation” doesn’t seem to apply to this market, why? We are turning into a nation of coffee lovers. Britain is no longer the nation that drinks tea, eats scones and shops at our local butchers.
We are a country of mass corporation; a country of Mc Donald’s and Subways and most of all corporate coffee houses. They are everywhere, offering us convenient little ways to treat ourselves for under £3.00; in your bank, your train station, in your bookstore, in your supermarket, perhaps Little Britain weren’t far off when they joked about having a ‘Starbucks in a Starbucks’- its madness.
I could measure my life in cups of coffee. Every train journey I make, every lunch break I take I find myself doing what we British do best and queuing; queuing to receive my “venti, skinny misto” with a shot of sugar-free hazelnut syrup (just to give it that extra oomph or was that the extra 50 pence?) I’m not just getting a drink, I’m getting that small sense of well being we all need in our day to keep us happy and I only had to pay £3.00 for it – not to mention curbing my caffeine addiction until I revisit and purchase a take away coffee to enjoy on my way home.
What was it my friend was saying, “coffee leads to Red Bull, Red Bull leads to crack, they should ban the whole lot” Should they? You might not find this an unappealing thought, in fact were has this obsession with coffee chains come from you ask? The answer of course is America. Like all corporate businesses it all starts in the US of A. I blame ‘Friends’- we’re all after our own Central Perk. If we think about Central Perk for a moment and the fact that all the friends characters actually got seats, let alone the same and most coveted seat in the house “the couch” (you know what I’m talking about) shows you it must be pure fantasy.
The first UK Starbucks opened on King's Road in London in September 1998. Now there are 211 in the UK - an average six new coffee shops each month, and quite frankly there is no need for it.
I’m over stimulated with words and adjectives like, ‘rich’, ‘smooth’, ‘full bodied’, ‘silky’…and the choices! My god the choices! Depending on what branch you are in, what country… ‘Flat Whites’, ‘Long Black’, Grande, tall, small, decaf, non-decaf, soy…the list could go on. Yes, you feel like screaming at the young student serving you that you ‘just want a f**king coffee’ but is it there fault? No, of course its not…oh no, we have the ‘hierarchy’ to thank for that. Costa coffee, for example, when training its staff has its employees identify and recognise its three main types of customers; ‘The Commuter’, The ‘Pit-Stop’ and the ‘Stop and Chat’ what’s important they remind staff is ‘not what they look like, who they are, or why they are there, but what they expect from you’ and also to remember – ‘a customer might be a commuter type on Monday, but a stop and chat type on a Saturday’. Yes, and you thought it was all so simple and innocent, the good patrons of the world providing us with a much needed service with a smile. Helping the poor countries by promoting ‘Fair trade’ or ‘Freedom alliance’ products so we can feel good about buying there over-priced coffee. Nobody mentions the virtues of this virtual fair-trade mumbo jumbo are nonsense. The only ‘fair trade’ is the middle man or bulk supplier in the poorer country is getting more and the humble worker is no better off since even if he/she does get a fraction most of their other living costs would have spiralled. So the fat cats get fatter on both sides, the poor stay poor, and Starbucks gets to use friendly slogans like ‘fair-trade’ and sell friendly coffee to friendly customers.
As Tim Harford points out in his book the undercover economist, if star bucks really did have a hypnotic hold over its customers that critics complain about, it would hardly need to spend so much effort getting people to trip over its cafes. Tom stresses the importance of ‘location, location, location’. The real reason we are all avid coffee drinkers now is not because, Paris Hilton or Britney Spears are pictured drinking Starbucks everyday, or that we are all addicted to caffeine, it’s the simple fact that we can’t, unless we move to Antarctica, escape them, just like you can’t escape from McDonalds or HSBC bank. The only plus side to this mass corporation is there’s now less need to travel- everywhere looks the same, and at least that is beneficial to our war against pollution.
Ah for the love of corporate coffee chains; one of Britain’s biggest boom industries. These coffee chains are popping up in Britain quicker that you can say cappuccino. This morning on my way to work, and please bear in mind this is a less than 10 minute walk, I have passed two Starbucks, A Rhoad Island Coffee, a Café Nero, two Costa Coffee shops, not to mention the one inside my bank and I hear they are opening another Starbucks across the road, my question is, is there really any need? The words “over-saturation” doesn’t seem to apply to this market, why? We are turning into a nation of coffee lovers. Britain is no longer the nation that drinks tea, eats scones and shops at our local butchers.
We are a country of mass corporation; a country of Mc Donald’s and Subways and most of all corporate coffee houses. They are everywhere, offering us convenient little ways to treat ourselves for under £3.00; in your bank, your train station, in your bookstore, in your supermarket, perhaps Little Britain weren’t far off when they joked about having a ‘Starbucks in a Starbucks’- its madness.
I could measure my life in cups of coffee. Every train journey I make, every lunch break I take I find myself doing what we British do best and queuing; queuing to receive my “venti, skinny misto” with a shot of sugar-free hazelnut syrup (just to give it that extra oomph or was that the extra 50 pence?) I’m not just getting a drink, I’m getting that small sense of well being we all need in our day to keep us happy and I only had to pay £3.00 for it – not to mention curbing my caffeine addiction until I revisit and purchase a take away coffee to enjoy on my way home.
What was it my friend was saying, “coffee leads to Red Bull, Red Bull leads to crack, they should ban the whole lot” Should they? You might not find this an unappealing thought, in fact were has this obsession with coffee chains come from you ask? The answer of course is America. Like all corporate businesses it all starts in the US of A. I blame ‘Friends’- we’re all after our own Central Perk. If we think about Central Perk for a moment and the fact that all the friends characters actually got seats, let alone the same and most coveted seat in the house “the couch” (you know what I’m talking about) shows you it must be pure fantasy.
The first UK Starbucks opened on King's Road in London in September 1998. Now there are 211 in the UK - an average six new coffee shops each month, and quite frankly there is no need for it.
I’m over stimulated with words and adjectives like, ‘rich’, ‘smooth’, ‘full bodied’, ‘silky’…and the choices! My god the choices! Depending on what branch you are in, what country… ‘Flat Whites’, ‘Long Black’, Grande, tall, small, decaf, non-decaf, soy…the list could go on. Yes, you feel like screaming at the young student serving you that you ‘just want a f**king coffee’ but is it there fault? No, of course its not…oh no, we have the ‘hierarchy’ to thank for that. Costa coffee, for example, when training its staff has its employees identify and recognise its three main types of customers; ‘The Commuter’, The ‘Pit-Stop’ and the ‘Stop and Chat’ what’s important they remind staff is ‘not what they look like, who they are, or why they are there, but what they expect from you’ and also to remember – ‘a customer might be a commuter type on Monday, but a stop and chat type on a Saturday’. Yes, and you thought it was all so simple and innocent, the good patrons of the world providing us with a much needed service with a smile. Helping the poor countries by promoting ‘Fair trade’ or ‘Freedom alliance’ products so we can feel good about buying there over-priced coffee. Nobody mentions the virtues of this virtual fair-trade mumbo jumbo are nonsense. The only ‘fair trade’ is the middle man or bulk supplier in the poorer country is getting more and the humble worker is no better off since even if he/she does get a fraction most of their other living costs would have spiralled. So the fat cats get fatter on both sides, the poor stay poor, and Starbucks gets to use friendly slogans like ‘fair-trade’ and sell friendly coffee to friendly customers.
As Tim Harford points out in his book the undercover economist, if star bucks really did have a hypnotic hold over its customers that critics complain about, it would hardly need to spend so much effort getting people to trip over its cafes. Tom stresses the importance of ‘location, location, location’. The real reason we are all avid coffee drinkers now is not because, Paris Hilton or Britney Spears are pictured drinking Starbucks everyday, or that we are all addicted to caffeine, it’s the simple fact that we can’t, unless we move to Antarctica, escape them, just like you can’t escape from McDonalds or HSBC bank. The only plus side to this mass corporation is there’s now less need to travel- everywhere looks the same, and at least that is beneficial to our war against pollution.
Love it!!! hope u got a good mark for it tho
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